Finally my recruitment officer got my contract sorted for me to go back to work. Currently I’m sat at my desk pretending to work while listening to the film Moana soundtracks on youtube. Typical adult behaviour.
See the line where the sky meets the sea? it calls meeee …. *cough* anyways..
It’s not always been like this, I’ve always had jobs that I’ve wanted to excel at, I always had the goal (which I achieved) of being a firefighter and since being in New Zealand that has never changed, until now.
I only found out recently I would never be able to do my passion here just because of the country I come from. New Zealand is so strict on who they let in the fire service and foreigners are a big no no. I can’t even volunteer!
Me thinking of going back to Afghanistan as a firefighter has become a weekly event. It’s the one job i truly miss and the one thing that makes me sad. I can handle being away from home, from friends and family but being admin when I know I have the potential to do more is hard. And I think a lot of travellers feel this way, you have to do shitty jobs just to get by.
Whenever I finish a work, I always feel lost, as though a steady
anchor has been taken away and there is no sure ground under
my feet. During the time between ending one project and
beginning another, I always have a crisis of meaning. I begin to
wonder what my life is all about and what I have been put on
this earth to do. It is as though immersed in a project I lose all
sense of myself and must then, when the work is done, rediscover
who I am and where I am going.
One day I’ll be back in a fire kit, one day ill have the sense of pride. It may not be anytime soon but it will happen.
On another note… I must of fallen asleep in NZ and woke up in England. Has anyone got a boat I can borrow?